on May 5th, 2008Top 10 List: Worst Subjects On Which To Base Your Blog
1. Hitler
2. Mesothelioma
3. Erectile Dysfunction
4. Gary Coleman
5. Concrete
6. Aardvarks
7. How to Make a Better Bomb
8. Yeast Infections
9. Yak Recipes
10. Beta vs. VHS
#10. Beta Vs. VHS. Lesson learned: Be up-to-date. People visit blogs because they are modern– VCRs are sooo yesterday, and the whole Beta/VHS controversy is moot because NEITHER format is relevant in regards to today’s technology. <<obviously, this applies to other controversies, ie. the feather quill vs. pen debate, or which is better, filtered or unfiltered cigarettes?>>
#9 Yak Recipes. Lesson learned: Blog about something people need. Unless you live in Mongolia, you’ve probably never seen Yak meat, much less needed to learn how to cook it. <<side note: spin discarded Yak hair into yarn for a lovely, itchy parka, or collect Yak milk into a goat’s bladder and sip for a tasty treat.>>
#8 Yeast Infections. Lesson learned: although the daily search for keyphrases “yeast infection” or “treat yeast infection because of antibiotics” ranks in the thousands, do you really want to be known as the Yeast Infection guy or gal? Although this infamous scratching fest deserves its place on the World-Wide Web (www, get it ? ;), it doesn’t warrant a personal blog–unless that’s your bag.
#7 How to Make a Better Bomb. Lesson learned: it’s good to be DUGG by the online community, not FLAGGED by the Dept. of Home Security. I doubt that having Timothy McVeigh as an RSS subscriber is anything to brag about. Plus, how do you monetize this blog without subverting the Google Adsense TOS? Stay away!
#6 Aardvarks. Lesson Learned: just because it comes tops in the Dictionary doesn’t mean anybody gives a crap. Have you EVER typed “aardvark” into a search engine? Neither have I.
#5 Concrete. Lesson learned: sorry, just fell asleep–what were we talking about? Concrete is boring, and does not make for provocative reading material.
#4 Gary Coleman Lesson learned: how many times can you type “What’chu talkin’ about, Willis?” before your own interest diminshes? Although celebrities (even has-beens) can be fun to poke fun at, try and diversify–don’t put all your blog eggs into one, tiny hopeless basket with growth problems.
#3 Erectile Dysfunction Lesson learned: unless you’ve suffered from this repeatedly, what can you possibly blog about on this? the causes? the treatment? Save that for WebMD. They’ve got pills (labeled Cialis and Viagra) for this, you know. End of problem (and, hopefully, blog)!
#2 Mesothelioma Lesson learned: unless you’re trolling for internet scammers or personal injury lawyers, this won’t provide much quality traffic. There’s a reason why Oklahoma City mesothelioma lawyers (like the blatant keyword phrase?) pay out high adword rates, because most people don’t look up mesothelioma–but the payoff for one client is too great for them to resist. A blog about mesothelioma, though, seems pretty obvious, doesn’t it? Especially when you see the adsense around the text.
#1 Hitler Lesson learned: although a controversial figure makes for great material, a blog’s personal nature will end up seeming like a fanpage rather than its real intent. I’m going to just go out on a limb here and say that, frankly, Adolf Hitler was a real a$$hole. I know some people reading this might be offended, but I just don’t care. I really dislike Hitler!
There, I hope that little list helped in finding some focus for all of you just starting out blogging (like myself). With a little work, and a lot of mesothelioma adsense revenue, we all can find our unique niche in the blogging world.
Sincerely,
The Jerk
